Loneliness

maroon-bells

Most of the years growing up, my family vacationed in Colorado. We always joined other members of Mom’s family. We all loved the mountains. They were so beautiful! The Maroon Bells, shown here were one of the places we visited. Cragged rocks clad in white reached almost to the heavens. Crystal clear streams cascading down in waterfalls, eventually settling in the purest lakes. The change from the near flat world of west Texas was so dramatic. The plants, trees, and flowers were also completely different from what we were used to. We would camp out, hike and fish. I started collecting rocks at the age of six, a hobby I would keep into manhood. It was so wonderful being able to pick up beautiful crystals.

We moved to Colorado Springs when I was 13. But we didn’t live very close to my cousins or my new friends at church. I felt very lonely a lot of the time, missing Abilene and Danny, my best friend. Some things I did with my brother, but mostly I spent hours finding things to entertain myself with: Shooting BBs and a bow and arrows, hitting a tether ball back and forth on a pole, throwing darts and knives. I got pretty good with one knife, eventually using and almost always hitting the 2” side of a 2 x 4 for a target (which is actually 1 3/4″). I missed Danny, my best friend terribly. Somewhere in there, I remembered the pictures of a naked woman we had found and began to “dumpster dive”. I wasn’t just looking for more pictures. I also found other interesting trash: old transistor radios, pieces of metal and wood for building something, anything cool. At fifteen I hit pay dirt and found a couple of Playboy magazines. It took only a minute to be hooked on professional pornography, keeping them this time as “my own little secret”.

It has been helpful for me to do a bit analyzing about the associations of feeling with temptations that tend to bring them on.

I think often our emotions are mixed in with our fleshly desires, giving them more power and importance. These desires intensify the emotions we appreciate, while lessoning the effect of negative ones.  I found it was really an illusion in this case. Have you had times where you’ve experienced this?

Published by remadepreacher

Kent Dickerson is a Christian writer, teacher, singer and lecturer. He calls his blog, “Remade Preacher”. The reason why that title was chosen was because God brought him back to full time ministry after leaving it for thirty years. The primary reason for leaving Pastoral Ministry was a deep-seated struggle with pornography. He facilitates two seminars. -Spiritual Battle Plan, The Path To Victory and -Spiritual Battle Plan, the Armor Of God. In both courses he calls upon men to first get into the battle against the sin in their lives and then to find new ways to call upon the Almighty God to lead, strengthen and protect them. He also emphasizes helping each other as brothers. In addition, versions of Spiritual Battle Plan are being developed for both men and women learners. A new class/seminar, Be Transformed, is now available as well. During the “Be Transformed” Seminar Kent teaches the art of analyzing one’s thinking patterns in order to allow renewing-of-the-mind transformation so that one can then devote one’s time to contemplating God. Kent is currently authoring a book tentatively titled, “Remade! A preacher finds victory over pornography and complaint.” He is also working on recording his first EP and videos Kent is from Abilene, Texas where he attended Abilene Christian University. He currently lives in Pyeongtaek, South Korea as part of the U.S. military community.

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